An intervention of sorts.

It's a weird place to be when you're not sure if you want to be friends with your friends anymore. There is a couple in our life that we are struggling with. More specifically, I am struggling with her. She is very harsh and overbearing, and I find myself biting my tongue more often than not around her. It's a hard relationship to be in... it seems to me that friendships should build you up and encourage, not stress you out and discourage. But that's where we are. I'm torn, though. First, I've never had to 'break up' with a friend before. This isn't the kind of relationship where you can just kind of stop being in contact - she will call and ask what's wrong and why you aren't around anymore. So this situation is going to have to come to a head one way or another. But she has said in the past that she can't seem to keep friends. She attributes this problem to how she is such a giver and when she stops, everyone leaves. She feels used. And while that certainly may be part of the problem, I think it's bigger than that. She pushes and pushes, she condescends in the name of helping, and she hurts feelings. That is why people leave when they get the chance. So I am torn. I don't want to just bail on her. It was through them that we first felt connected to Nashville and started to build a circle of friends here. I feel like an intervention of sorts is in order. I have gone back and forth and back and forth and back and forth about this in my head... she and I tend to clash anyway, and I don't want to come across as attacking her. But I'm not sure I can be honest in a loving way without hurting her feelings. Maybe I need to just accept that her feelings will be hurt and learn to deal with that. I also want to be careful that I am doing this for the right reasons. Last night, while we were discussing Blue Like Jazz, someone said that the characteristics that infuriate us in others are the ones we ourselves possess. I fear that she bothers me so much because I am like her. I judge her for judging me. It annoys me that she gets annoyed. I look down on her for having an attitude that looks down on others.