What else could I be? All apologies.

The other day at lunch, I ended up sitting next to a very uncomfortable discussion. I'm sitting there, eating my chicken salad, trying to read Vogue in peace, when I start to pick up on what's going on at the next table. There are two of them, a mother and her son. He looks to be around 20, and based on their conversation I imagine that's about right. I will call her Captain Lilly Pulitzer, as she had on not only a green polo with a pink Polo horse on it, but said polo was tucked into pink capris with green seashells embroidered all over them. Scary. He was wearing baggy jeans and a green tshirt, and had that shaggy bedhead look that's so popular with the kids these days. I will call him Normal Guy. From what I could gather, NG had made some life decisions that CLP did not approve of. I didn't catch what those decisions were, but he was upset. He kept saying things like "I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment" and "It's my life and my choice, not yours." And she was saying things like "A degree is the only way to get a job" and "your resume will never be good enough." So it's my understanding that NG has graduated from high school, but may not want to jump straight into college. Maybe he's in a band. Maybe he wants to join the Peace Corp. Maybe he's a lazy bum who wants to live off mom and dad for the rest of his life. CLP, on the other hand, wants him to go to college and get a degree and a good job and contribute to society. I felt bad for both of them, and the situation brought to mind a similar one that took place in my house a few years back. Not with me - I have always been goody-two-shoes-do-what-you're-told. I went to college right after high school, graduated in four years, wham bam thank you ma'am. But when my sister was a senior in high school, I imagine she felt a lot like NG. There was a lot of pressure, a lot of yelling, a lot of crying and fighting and general unpleasantness. And not just from her. I was convinced she was "throwing her life away", that a 4-year school was the only viable option if she wanted to do something with her life. My parents, who always stressed that they wanted the best for us, knew what life without a degree was like and how much easier her work life would be with one. None of us were very good at communicating what we really thought, and the result was a lot of hurt feelings and defensiveness. The NG/CLP brought that time in our lives to mind, and I've been thinking about it all week. About how easy it is to get caught up in what you want without considering what other people want. About how my life used to be so black and white, and thankfully the last few years have taught me to see shades of gray. About how we get so intent on making people see our side and do what we think is right, and never consider that maybe our way isn't the only way. So Chels, if you're reading this, I am truly sorry. I've been listening to Relient K today, and their song "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" is certainly appicable here. Looking back, I can't believe I ever treated you as harsly and unlovingly as I did. It breaks my heart, and I cannot express how grateful I am that you are who you are and do what you do. Thank you for being my friend. Travel 'round the world and back again. Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante.