I'm over the analyzing tonight...

It’s hard for me to think about major decisions. I’m impatient, and I’m always ready for change. It’s a real struggle for me to sit down and rationally consider the pros and cons of anything. I just want to pick something. We’ll figure out the rest later. Sometimes, these tendencies work out in my favor. Deciding to date someone I met on the internet. Taking this job. Buying pointy boots. As a general rule, the things I jump into blindly turn into positive, and sometimes life-changing, experiences. But some decisions deserve more consideration than others. Buying shoes is not as important as buying a house. Accepting a date and accepting a job are on very different levels. That should affect the effort I put into the making of the decision, but it usually doesn’t. Lately we’ve been questioning a major decision we made back in the fall. We committed to something we thought was one thing, but hasn’t turned out quite like we’d imagined. It has affected our spiritual life as a couple, as well as our social circle. When we made the decision, I was sure we were doing the right thing. And when we told people what we were doing, I had all the right words to convince everyone. Maybe to convince myself. This was right. This was good. So here I am, looking back on the things I once said with such certainty, wondering what the heck I was talking about. Wondering what to do next. Wondering how to make a big decision and feel confident in the final choice. Not only do I not have the answers, I don’t even know the process to find them.